Has it been a year???

Everyone warned me to soak in every moment as a mom because the time would fly by in the blink of an eye. And I've tried. (There is unintentional rhyming happening here. I'm not trying to be Seussian). I've rushed home early from work to be with my daughter, made sure we had plenty of alone time together without tv or phone to distract me from the innocent, beautiful perfection that is my baby, and I've taken about seventeen billion photos of her...but still...a year?!?!? WHAT?!?!?

I'm not okay with this, first of all. I mean sure, it's great that she sleeps through the night now (getting her to FALL asleep is another story), she can hold her own bottle, and starting to be able to entertain herself for stretches of time, but...she's my BABY! Who's, like, almost a TODDLER! Omg, I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna seriously, actually cry.

Okay, hold on.

Okay, back.

Dang, motherhood is emotional.

Okay, so while I'm on the 'motherhood' thing. Not only can't I believe that my daughter is going to be a year old, I can't believe that I have been a mom for a year. Considering how exhausting it is, it seems like a freaking miracle that I've survived being Mary the Mom for so long.

Not that it hasn't had it's glitches.

The Hubs is so sweet in always reassuring me that I am doing a great job, but there's been a few times I have dropped the ball. (Is there a list coming...? YES THERE IS)

A List of Times I Could've Done Better as a Mom in the Past Year

(I don't know how long this list will be...basically I'll keep going until my munchkin wakes up)

1. The Obligatory Monthly Photos. When I was pregnant, I didn't do those monthly "Our Baby is the Size of a Kiwi" photos because, I just knew I wasn't going to keep up with it. When our little girl was born, however, I bought these cute stickers from TJMaxx (clearance, baby!) that said "One Month", "Two Months" etc. I thought that it would be great to have this set of photos showing her growth over the course of the year. But then I didn't put her in the same spot every time the way the Pinterest Moms do. And I didn't place her next to the same stuffed animal to help document her size changes. And then I forgot month 9. And 10. And well...yeah. I figure I can photoshop the stickers into a couple of those seventeen billion photos I took and we'll call it a day.

2. Breastfeeding. Okay, I realize that compared to some moms, I hit rock-star status here because even though it hurt like $^&*(^# for the first month or so (Seriously. It was worse than childbirth. I'm not even exaggerating. I feared her little piranha gums.), but eventually I stopped at around 8 months. On one hand, I went longer than I thought, but I also fell short of the ideal "One Year" mark. This was largely due to pumping more than direct breastfeeding. Pumping at work was the freaking pits. It was gross and uncomfortable and time consuming and honestly not as a private as I had hoped. And storing it was also a b*tch. And cleaning the parts. And scheduling it properly. Ugh. I was never really great at pumping to begin with, but it was so much harder at work. And then...she started biting. And thought that it was HILARIOUS to hear me yelp in pain. So...that was that. Formula it became.

3. Tummy Time. I really do regret not pushing my daughter to do more tummy time, as I'll never know if she was slow to roll over an crawl because of that or because she's just a lazy baby (which she is...she gets that from her mama). I was about to type all these reasons as to why I didn't do it more...but I honestly don't know why. I think the biggest reason was that she didn't like it, and I didn't like seeing her uncomfortable. I definitely dropped the ball on that one.

4. Eating Healthy. I don't mean the baby, I mean me. While I was pregnant, and during breastfeeding, I was not the picture of perfect health. Sugary (or diet) drinks instead of water, plenty of carbs and burgers and takeout food. I stayed away from the "dangers" of sushi, hot dogs and deli meats (In fact, I was pretty obsessive about those things when pregnant...which is hard because those are pretty much my three favorite foods), but beyond that I can't say I ate healthy. Which isn't good for either of us.

Well, my little bean is starting to stir so I'm going to have to wrap this up...but I tried. I'm still trying. Mistakes will be made, laziness will set in, and I will not be a perfect mom. But I love that little baby with every fiber of my being, so I'll keep trying to do my best.

But I'll probably have Sonic for dinner.

Again.

But for now, here's a few of the seventeen billion photos proving my love and motherly devotion: